Remembering. Reflecting. Reassuring.

Yesterday, I took the liberty of removing myself from media. I hadn’t yet honored Michael on the 25th the way I wanted. Somehow, I’d be disturbed or distracted by something I saw or heard, and wouldn’t be able to let that go, which brought anger to the day I wanted to celebrate love. Yesterday, I was trying to achieve that goal of celebrating not only Michael’s life, but his love as well. And I think I did it.

I enjoyed his short films, live performances, music and words– that goes without saying. But this time, in removing myself from the outside world, I would discover another piece of the puzzle that is me, unintentionally and evidently through Michael. And while it may seem a little selfish, I was reminded that a look in the mirror was an essential action before trying to change anything.

I came across an extremely rare copy of ‘Dancing the Dream’ a while back, and thought yesterday provided a great opportunity to read it. Becoming touched in any one of these verbal illustrations is a guarantee. However, in reading these poems and reflections, something happened to me. I could feel the amount of emotion put into each verse almost as if those things were written to me and they were apart of me somehow. Maybe my future even– for a moment, I felt as though I was seeing it!

I know how this may sound, but I think the process of creating knowledge about what I read showed something to me. I saw, in those verses of some of the prose and poems, a mirror. A mirror showing me these pictures these words are painting, and I am in the painting. It was a profound thing to feel. I could feel something inside me changing for the better. I couldn’t believe that it came from reflecting on Michael’s being and his life work. It was as if so many hours and days and months of simply ‘Michaeling’ added up to one epiphany. It was really something.

Although my methods involved isolating myself from the outside world and immersing myself in Michael, my experiences yesterday taught me a few things; and the common denominator of Michael’s messages finally began to sink in. I was able to listen to these messages with my head and my heart, and for once they agreed. My thoughts and emotions, which were created from reading some selections in ‘Dancing the Dream’, converged into one major life changing realization: to remember love.

And then a thought occurred to me. Was Michael love?  If you think about it, how else would he be able to represent it so well, and give it so widely? He himself has said he just wanted to be loved wherever he went. Was he just asking to see a little of himself in the places he visited in return for the gifts of love he’d given to us? To see the reflection of good he was sent here to do in the hearts of the people of the world? To not only bring love, but to leave love everywhere as a remnant of himself to hopefully stand on its own and ultimately heal? And in remembering him and keeping him alive in our hearts, when it comes down to it, we’re remembering love, wouldn’t you say? I have to wonder, and in doing so, it only makes more sense that Michael was an angel. Is an angel.

I wonder if Michael ever thought along these lines.

Well in remembrance of Michael, it became apparent to me that maybe I hadn’t taken his message, perhaps the way it was meant to be taken. I had yet to  truly apply all of his message to my heart and life, and that I needed to really practice what I called myself preaching.

I will forever thank him for his lasting acts of love for the world, and for the reminder to put love back into the world.  I think that’s the least I can do given what he’s done to make this world a better place.

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